Return of Random Things on Twitter

Brain Stack OVerflow

Yes, it’s another installment of Things Found in the Twitter Public Timeline

Are supermarket/organic market premade salads generally good sources of food poisoning?
 ((No, I’m sure there are much better sources out there.))

if I remember my experience correctly it will be down, but back up again before they make any announcement that it’s down. ‘-)
 ((TwitPic, right?)

That kid named Anthony…his twitter always says he’s doing nothing. What a boring kid. Good thing I don’t know him. 🙂
 ((I’m not a boring kid, but I play one on Twitter for the entertainment of others.))

Ever see something on Facebook that makes you wanna go “God fucking dammit!”. Yeah… sometimes I wish that site didn’t exist.
 ((But if it didn’t, there would be all these boring kids on Twitter))

Awesome! I’ll put it on my list of things to do…I mean buy. No, wait, things to do works too, I think.
 ((Do or do not, there is no buy))

Watchmen… idk wtf a “Watchment” is. O_o
((Congratulations, you are the only person on the planet who has somehow not seen the media blitz yet.))

Was she wearing a TWLOHA shirt? And really jumpy and excited and crazy?
 ((No, that was me.))

Listening to Bananarama…my ears are bleeding. Someone stop the madness. Not to offend the five of you that like Bananarama.
 ((Geez… I’ll change ringtones then…))

You were awesome last night! 😀
 ((Why thank you!))

I wish I’d buckled down in school to get my Ph.D. in belly button lint. My parents would be soooo proud.
 ((I got my PhD in D&D))

I’m not naming my kid Nessie…I’m not fucking Stephenie Meyer…fuck you bitch!
 ((Well… two out of three ain’t bad.))

Well, Carlee broke up with me. I can’t fucking take this.
 ((Yeah, it’s way too heavy to take.))

finally wrote that fucking essay, and I think I’m getting sick. 🙁
 ((Remember, correlation does not imply causation.))

During the massage? ha. My gag reflexes are having a hard time handling this extreme amount of drama and sap.
 ((Drama and sap in a massage? You’re doing it wrong.))

Can you please write to me to let me know that you still want me to follow or else I will delete you!
((Followers -1))

I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle.
 ((Professional lifestylists are standing by.))

Yup it’s only $10. Do you know someone who goes to meetings?
 ((For $10? That may be worth it. What kind of meetings?))

oh no…..that is scary…don’t look down!!!
 ((Why not? OH MY GOD MY KEYBOARD IS FILTHY!))

just got a twitter. now i’m a twitter loser. XD
 ((Welcome Loser))

Working on a plan for my job as a wedding planner.
 ((So you’re a wedding planner planner?))

Everyone in this state is either under water, under the influence or under indictment.
 ((State of intoxication. Got it.))

Yes, your irony edge was quite dull. Dat’s OK!
 ((I iron all night and I iron all day!))

HOLY SHIT I think I just ended up on a myspace page
 ((I think we’ve all ended up on a myspace page at one point or another))

If I follow this guy he’ll take me to their hideout.
I’ll let you ((Careful, it might be on a myspace page))

Just inhaled two mini cupcakes. God I love cupcakes.
 ((So say we all!))

;AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA;
 ((Your use of semicolons frightens and confuses me))

next thing your going to ask me is how to enlarge!
 ((I suggest a hands-on demonstration))

seems to be more like kryptonite, but thats just me.
 ((You’re like kryptonite? What?))

Lol ya but this wrestler guy beat up a 60 year old guy! With wood and like a wall thing! And i banana.
 ((I banana all the time too. Especially with wall things))

hey who would win a fight between jason from friday 13th vs a reaver?
 ((The geek quotient in that tweet is even too high for this blog!))

Has anyone ever been injured or caused injury by carrying scissors irresponsibly? Adults go on about scissor safety but I’m not buying it.
 ((Agreed! The running with scissors ban needs to be repealed NOW!))

yes, I agree. I kept asking “Can I do this with Big Tent?” and Mia kept saying yes….signed, sealed, delivered.
 ((If You Know What I Mean))

are you sure you weren’t having a secret romantic rendezvous with Tim who coinciddentally also was “sick” today?
 ((Actually, we were both at the Big Tent…))

Drama that won’t happen. He better point his face somewhere else. I may stammer around him, but how much of that is real?
 ((Only the part about stammering))

:O I am so totally unfollowing you now!!11
 ((No! Don’t unfollow me! I draw my life’s worth from my follower count!))

yeah, I could understand that. damn right… matter fact, if I wasnt so busy I’d prolly be on a road trip right now.
 ((ROAD TRIP!))

Time to upload the Final Barcode design.
 ((Let me guess… It’s a bunch of lines, right?))

Dr Doom is scared about the US Economy.
 ((The Fantastic 4 are pushing for a bailout of the Latvarian banks))

Log into your TwitPic account and it should have the details for you. Don’t fail me ever again. 😉
 ((<Darth Vader>I am warning you for the last time, Admiral Piett!</Darth Vader>))

Did u know that when you lick a lollipop and then put it on your hair,it stays!!! It is soooooo cool!
 ((Sticky, but cool))

A BRA SNIFFING DOG?! WHAT THE FUCK!!? … sleepy time. x
 ((But really, is there anything dogs won’t sniff?))

its this really weird sound like there is a space ship landing on her computer.
 ((THEY’VE COME FOR YOU! RUN! RUN!))

Then, by God, let’s lick the barn up one side and down the other.
 ((But will it stick to your hair?))

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