The PaleoGamer Plays: The Longest Journey – Part 12

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Published on: July 28, 2014

April returns to Marcuria to clean up some loose ends; demonstrating to Captain Nebevay that she has restored the wind, finding navigator Tun Liac for the ship and getting herself fired from working for the map merchant. Then she has a conversation with Vestrum Tobias where he tells her she may be the next Guardian. Oh, and by the way, an army is about to invade. Good thing we’re leaving for Ailias. Too bad April is seasick. The latest episode of The Longest Journey.

The PaleoGamer Plays: The Longest Journey – Part 11

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Published on: July 21, 2014

April finds the castle of the mad alchemist Rupert Klacks and gains entry via strategic use of hand lotion. She then negotiates a maze, discovers other uses for mathematics, teaches herself alchemy, reveals that classic Star Trek is still popular in the 23rd century and, oh yes, restores the wind with a bit of help from Crow. Yet one more step on The Longest Journey.

The PaleoGamer Plays: The Precursors – Part 1

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Published on: July 18, 2014

The worst FPS player in the world takes on the game The Precursors. Watch Treece Crichton crash his starship, get his space marine colleagues killed by acid-spitting plants, make friends with the Empire by killing bugs then no longer be friends after playing tag with a rocket launcher, run from a giant robot then find out he’s in the Matrix and he’s the One. Or something. Welcome to The Precursors!

The PaleoGamer Plays: The Longest Journey – Part 10

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Published on: July 14, 2014

April heads deeper into the forests north of Marcuria, makes contact with the Bandu and falls into a trap so obvious even Admiral Ackbar is facepalming. She also discusses eating birds with a talking bird, has an argument with herself and, oh yeah, finds the first part of the Guardian’s disc. Another day on The Longest Journey.

The PaleoGamer Plays: The Longest Journey – Part 9

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Published on: July 7, 2014

Having found out all she can in Marcuria, April sets out to find a way to get to the island of Ailias. But to do so she has to convince Captain Nebevay to allow a woman on his ship, find a replacement navigator and somehow restore the wind, which has been captured by the improbably-named alchemist Rupert Klacks. So naturally she decides to take a walk in the woods instead. At least she has a companion now, the talking crow named Crow. Another step along the way of The Longest Journey.

The PaleoGamer Plays: The Longest Journey – Part 8

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Published on: June 30, 2014

April Ryan goes through a mysterious portal in the back of her wardrobe, only to find herself back in Marcuria instead of Narnia. There she spends a lot of time walking and talking, finds someone with severe verb-tense issues and discovers that artists somehow end up with waitress jobs no matter what world they are in. Another step on The Longest Journey.

The PaleoGamer Plays: The Longest Journey – Part 7

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Published on: May 9, 2014

April visits the improbably named “Burns Flipper” and after enduring another carpet f-bombing get information on the Vanguard *and* the name of the missing Guardian. Along the way she plays MacGyver 2200, finds out that police power armor isn’t waterproof and wonders why Zack is hanging around outside her room. Then bad things happen. It’s the end of Chapter 3 of The Longest Journey!

The PaleoGamer Plays: The Longest Journey – Part 6

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Published on: May 5, 2014

Having finally gotten into the police station, April attempts to enter the Archives only to find she needs someone to lend her a hand. Or at least an eye. She helps a guy with his stomach problems, finds that computer security is just as lax in the 23rd century as it is today and uncovers the startling truth about hovercraft safety. Just another step on The Longest Journey.

The PaleoGamer Plays: The Longest Journey – Part 5

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Published on: April 25, 2014

April begins her quest to save the worlds by enduring a carpet F-bombing by Zach. She then travels to the bad part of town and we rethink our views on the relative merits of Arcadia and Stark. The game is then interrupted by a news report and a game-breaking bug but April finds that the real challenge to getting into the police station is bureaucracy, which is apparently what they mean by “The Longest Journey”.

The PaleoGamer Plays: 1953: KGB Unleashed – Part 3

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Published on: April 21, 2014

Nikolyev sets out to do some ghost hunting, because burial chambers hidden below the basement of secret underground bunkers never have anything bad in them. And it turns out that recordings of ghosts can cause sleepyness, murder and subways. It’s the conclusion of 1953: KGB Unleashed

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